Stories We Want:

We want humor essays and short stories about times when you failed, lost or screwed up big time. We want stories so pathetic and sad not even PostSecret will post them.

For example, you can talk about your first time being dumped by a love interest. Or how about a good down n’ out story? How about that time you were the runner up instead of the First Place? We accept stories from anybody of any age and species.

What We Don’t Want:

• Nothing too expletive ridden. Sure, a few Oh [Bleeps]” are allowable but we don’t need cabbie talk.
• No porn. You can say “Vladimir took me in his arms and hurled me to the floor.” But going into details like: “Then he (ok here would be too many details) and then I grabbed his (whoah, way too many details) and then he got the karo syrup and ice cream sprinkles and (and you get my drift).”
• No hating. Well, you can hate your boss or ex, but don’t go after their race, gender, religion or persuasion. You may go after their political/ideological affiliation.

Submission Guidelines:

We can do this one or two ways:

1. You record a podcast and send it to the editor. It is more interesting when the writer tells the story.  It’s more genuine. (pref. format MP3). You may record it by any means available as long as your voice is clear. I can do some post-production magic to fix any issues.
2. Or I or someone else can read and record your story for you. If I can’t do it, I will send it to someone who will. Send a text version in either .doc or .txt. as an attachment.

Email all submissions and queries to: editor@diabeticincandyland.com. Subject line should read: “Submission: Your Pathetic Story“

Overall length: Stories should not exceed fifteen minutes total reading time.

Compensation:

At this time, I can offer $20.00, a free promo for your blog, podcast or business.

Don’t have time or gumption to record or write your story?You may phone in your very brief story to your Lose Line at 206-984-0854. We will play it on the show and may even call you back for an interview if you wish. Please leave phone number if you want this option.